I’m Thinking About Changing But..

Step 2:  I’m Thinking of Making a Change

Alice:  Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?

Cheshire Cat:  That depends good deal on where you want to go.

OK, you’ve been thinking about making a change.  Terrific!  Let’s see how we can help you in this stage of your change.  At this point, you may be waiting for the perfect time to make a change:  you know the “I’ll change when…” syndrome.  This is sometimes also called “magical thinking” and we all do it.  Or you may be stuck in waiting for the perfect solution.  Neither is likely to happen.  So, let’s look at a series of questions you can ask yourself at this point:

1. What would need to happen for you to be ready to make a move, to begin to just plan for a change (not make it yet)?
2. What is really important to you?  What do you value?
   1. How is your current behavior helping you achieve the goals you have in life?
   2. How is it demonstrating your values/what’s important to you?

Something else you could try we call “My Personal Future Tape:” your individual ‘film’ about the best thing(s) that could happen when you make this change.  Perhaps an example of this Personal Future tape would be helpful.

Janelle is a 30-something mom and wife who has been drinking and using other drugs for more than 20 years.  She has also regularly used cocaine for nearly 15 years and is having difficulty giving it up in spite of some serious negative consequences.  She has been working through her own reluctance to change and now sees that her husband and young son have indeed been negatively affected by both her cocaine use and her drinking.  Plus, she realizes that the pain in her chest, severe headaches, and numbness in her arm is really from the cocaine use as her doctor has indicated.  Janelle is ready for a change but is really frightened of what that will look like and whether she can really make a lasting change.  But when she sees herself returning to school, becoming a teacher as she’s dreamed, and living to see her son grow, she is better able to be motivated for a change.

We have also borrowed a useful self-assessment from the book, Changing for Good by Drs. Jim Prochaska, Carlo DiClemente, and John Norcross*.  This may be useful, too, and to be accurate, it requires that your responses be very candid (remember, this is only for you to see).  It can help you see whether you’re ready to prepare for a change now or if more time might be needed to do some extra work in this stage of your personal change (either way is fine; we just don’t want you to get frustrated and quit!):

1= Never      2=Seldom        3=Occasionally         4=Often            5=Repeatedly

1. 1.    I think about the fact that my family and friends would be better off without my problem behavior.
2. 2.    My tendency to give in to my problem behavior makes me disappointed in myself.
3. 3.    I consider that being content with myself includes changing my problem behavior.
4. 4.    I get upset when I think about giving in to my problem behavior.

Score: ______

A score of 14 or more means you’re likely ready to move to the next step.  A score below 14 likely means it would be helpful for you to continue to work in this step. 

 If your score is below 14, there are several other areas you can work on to help you prepare to move to the next step soon.  

Feel free to ask us for assistance at this point, too.  That’s what we’re here for.  The most important thing is to remember that this is not a setback of any kind.  The score is simply suggesting that, based on the information provided, the wisest course of action – and the one most likely to succeed – is to wait, work some more at this step, and then reassess.  We encourage you not to quit before your Personal Future Tape can come true.  And to remember, you’re not alone!

: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?
Cheshire Cat: That depends good deal on where you want to go.

That’s wonderful! You’ve taken the first step on the path to change. It’s OK to think about changing before you actually embark on that journey. Thinking about the Good and Not-So-Good things about making the change you’re thinking about can help you build motivation to get moving. You might even want to do your own exercise about the Good and Not-So-Good things about changing or not changing.

Once you’ve shown yourself how many really Good Things there are about changing and how many Not So Good Things there about staying the way you are, join the Incre-Mentalist Health Club where you will find a variety of Principles and Building Blocks to help you make the changes you want.