I’m not sure I want to change

Time for a Change?

Step 1:   I’m not sure I want to make a change

Well, here you are, visiting a website that’s all about change, but you’re not really sure there’s anything you need or want to change right now. Maybe your partner or employer has suggested that you make a change in your behavior(s).  You’re in a tough spot:  if you make a change, maybe you’ll be changing something you really enjoy and you have no idea how this change is going to work out anyway.  And if you don’t make a change, perhaps others will see you as unable to make a change, or even decide they can no longer be in your life.  Ouch.  So what’s a person to do?

If you’re willing to consider a change might be helpful, even if you don’t want to change now, one thing you could do is increase your awareness of your behavior(s).  We have included some ideas below to help you with that goal.  Then, come back to this page to take the self-assessment developed by the researchers Drs. James Prochaska, John Norcross, and Carlo DiClemente (and from their useful book, Changing for Good[1], based on their many years of research into change including the development of their now-famous Stages of Change theory.[2]  After all, what do you have to lose except for others complaining to you about your behavior?

Here are some simple ways to increase your – or someone else’s – awareness about the possible need to make a change:

1. Read!  Everything and anything you can find with some substance.  Start by looking for good, informational websites (typically those with a ‘.gov’ or ‘.edu’ are least inflammatory) and books written by those with research, education, or other solid credentials.
2. Listen to those you love.  If most people around you are suggesting a change might be good for you, instead of changing friends, why not hear them out?  After all, that’s one of the reason we usually have friends:  to have people around us who will be honest with us, even when we don’t want to hear it.
3. Watch movies and other sources of visual information.  Today we have more information available to us than we could absorb in a lifetime.  Look on Hulu, Netflix, YouTube, and more for films, documentaries, TV shows, etc, that discuss the subject of your change.
4. Ask friends, family, and others who care to tell you when they see you being defensive.  It’s absolutely normal to be defensive.  And it’s even a useful trait at times.  However, not when you’re trying to gather information on whether you should make a change or not.
5. Tell others what you need, including that you’re just not ready to change right now if that’s the case.  Talking about your behavior openly, and listening to what others see, without getting upset can be the greatest gift anyone can give you.  And this information can be crucial to your making the healthiest decision possible.
6. Use outside resources.  Going to any kind of support groups, websites, chat rooms, blogs, and more where you can hear others talk about their changes and assess your own readiness to change can be useful.
7. Think about how you’ve made successful changes in your past.  Using past successes is a great place to start in making changes in our life.  After all, if you’ve been successful before, you’re likely to do it again!

Self-Assessment

1= Never      2=Seldom        3=Occasionally         4=Often            5=Repeatedly

1. I look for information about my problem behavior.
2. I think about the information I find in books, internet, and other sources on how to change my problem behavior.
3. I read and watch films about people who have successfully changed their behavior(s).
4. I remember the things friends and family have said about the benefits

I might get from changing my behavior.

Score:  ________

 A score of more than 10 means you’re likely ready to move to the next phase of change.  A score 10 or below likely means it would be helpful for you to continue to work in this step. 

 If your score was more than 10, we suggest you go to [insert] in the Club.  If your score was 10 or less, try [insert] also inside the Club.  If you get stuck, feel free to send us a note at core@aa2.org.  We’ll respond within 48 hours.