Things To Remember When You’re Ready To Change

 Step 4:  Things to Remember when You’re Ready to Change

• The Traps

1.  Not being prepared enough for this change.  Everyone has trouble making changes in their lives and remembering how much work/stress change can be is crucial to being successful.
2. Not asking for help.  We all fall into the trap of believing we should be able to make change by ourselves.  Big trap!
3. 3.   Believing that there’s one ‘magic’ cure for your behavior.  If that were true, everyone would be taking this ‘magic’, no one would need to change anything, and someone would be very wealthy.  There’s no magic bullet for change.  To last, it takes hard work.  Don’t believe the hype.

• Getting out of the Traps

1.  Distract yourself.  Just about anything will work.  Here are some suggestions:
   1. Exercise:  swim, bike, walk your dogs, or play ball with your kids.  All of these are helpful to get you thinking about how good you’re going to feel when you make that change (Note:  please check with your healthcare provider before starting on any exercise plan)
   2. Relaxation:  Simply focusing on your breath is an easy form of relaxation.   You can listen to your favorite music, pet your cat/dog (research shows this action can actually lower your blood pressure!); walk on the beach; make love.  These are all various ways you might try to get a bit more relaxation in your life.  (By the way, watching TV is not listed on purpose.  While this action may feel relaxing, it can raise blood pressure and cause muscles to clench, just what we don’t want).
   3. Changing/Challenging your thinking*:  Ask yourself these simple questions.

1) What happened that led to this thinking/feeling?

2) What did you do/want to do when you were thinking this     way?

3) What happened when you thought this way?

*For more on how to use this exercise, and examples, see …..

1. d.   Getting bold!  You may need to say “no” more than usual and that can be uncomfortable for some.  If this is a challenge for you, practice can help.  It really helps to be surrounded by people who are going to be supportive of the changes you’re making.  We can’t expect everyone to stop their own behavior even if we are, but we can ask them to support us by not engaging in some behaviors while they’re around us.  Or again, perhaps we need change how we interact with some friends – for instance, Fred’s brother-in-law never seemed to quite understand Fred’s need to quit eating sugar when he developed diabetes.  Even after asking him not to bring desserts to dinner, Fred’s brother-in-law still kept bringing the sweets.  Fred and his wife decided that they would only meet for dinner at restaurants for a while so that they could still see their relative but Fred could gain some emotional strength.  Plus, it was easier to say no in a restaurant as it wouldn’t hurt anyone’s feelings.  For more practice in this area, go to …..

These are just a few of the ways you can help “shore up your resources” so that you have plenty to ‘spend’ as you make changes in your life.  Remember, the key is to keep up the practice because, like our own checking account, we need to replenish it continually because we’re spending all the time.  That’s the work of this phase.  If you’d like more on this phase and other suggestions for steps to stay out of the traps, go to….